Letter to Married Couples

Posted on Mon, Mar 10, 2025

A Letter laid on the heart of Pastor Beverley 2019

12/19/2019

 

Hello,

We are truly blessed to be in the land of the living with a reasonable amount of health and strength despite many challenges that I am sure most of us have experienced at one time or another.  In my daddy’s Alonzo McNeill voice “it’s still a good day because we are above ground and not beneath”.

It is almost the closing of another year; we have seen many things transpire that would seem unrealistic and unimaginable in previous years, yet here we are.

I have been prompted by the Holy Spirit to write to the traditional family that God designed, about some of the things that are ripping at its very core.  I have struggled with this assignment for over a year now, wanting to be sure that it is something that I should do.  I’ve started this letter many times to only put it on the back burner amid questions in my mind about how it would be received.  I do not take this lightly and pray that no one will view this communication as a personal indictment against them.  I also pray that if you do find yourself in these pages or see areas that you need to improve in that you will follow up and make corrections quickly.  Jesus is soon to come, just look at the signs that we see all around us.

It seems that every imagination of sinful man is now alright.  Lying is okay, cheating is ok, drinking is okay, pornography is okay, fornication is okay, adultery is okay, unruly children are okay, hating is okay, disobedience is okay and yes, homosexuality is okay.  These are just a few things that God has specifically addressed in his word that should not even “be mentioned” among his children. How is it then that we are now embracing these very things as okay and not seeing them as problems? 

Keep in mind that it becomes your problem when society tries to shove all of these as acceptable behaviors down your throat; you embrace it and don’t address them in your family; to your children or to the people in your “favorites”.  Your children latch onto these negative issues and process them as normal behavior. 

We are being brainwashed; today, I see more and more commercials and programs endorsing bad behaviors.  You cannot discipline your children for fear of reprisal by some agency.  But on the other hand, it seems that anything negative is celebrated. Subliminal messages come to us daily via television, radios, videos, DVD, CDs and whatever streaming service you choose to have; Netflix, HBO or HULU just to name a few.  One thing very prevalent lately is the propensity of the media to equate acceptance of same sex relationships and marriage in parallel with acceptance of being black or a person of color.  Nothing could be further from the truth; skin pigmentation is not chosen, while your actions are a mindset which you choose to accept and follow through with action. A decision is made to do and embrace a lifestyle while there is no decision in skin color or hair texture.

Children are portrayed as back talking disobedient brats and this is viewed as okay and cute. It makes for good television or, so we are led to believe but it’s not cute when they turn to become school shooters or parent murderers.  The police that stopped you from disciplining them will very likely be the same ones to kill or maim that “cute” bundle of humanity; however, they are no longer viewed as human.

You may say, well this is just life now and there is nothing I can do about this.  We don’t get away with this false answer.  The real answer is that we must speak about these issues.  We must discuss them with our children whether they are adolescents or adults in our household.  Pray.  Ask God to lead and direct you in the conversation; not holier than thou or argumentative but simply standing firm on what the word of God has already said.  According to scripture we should hate what God hates and accept nothing that God does not accept.  Do not be deceived by the false narrative that paints disagreement with improper behavior as unloving and un-Godly.

 Our God has standards and we who profess to follow him must adhere to his standards no matter what society touts as being okay.  He is a loving God, BUT he can also be an angry God; one who cannot lie and one who always honors his word. Some may say, well his word is a matter of opinion but not so.  I challenge you to honestly seek God; sincerely seek his face with the only agenda being getting to know him and his directions.  Allow him to speak to your heart and you really listen.  If you are sincere, he will converse with you and lead you into all truth. I dare you to sincerely try him.  I direct this to families because I see so many being ripped apart at the seams as they embrace un-godly acts and ideas.  So, here goes:

Husbands and wives

• Commit to God and his commands first and foremost.  Please don’t be swayed by this world system which says you won’t surely die if you do this or that.  Ask God for instruction; he does not contradict his word. Remember the order that his word has already established and the priority of where our allegiance should be which is to honor God and keep his commandments.  God should always be first.  When he is first in your life, you recognize that your spouse is next in line, then your children with everything else coming afterwards.  
• Communicate “with” each other and not “at” each other
• Stay true to each other; don’t let anything divide you, not even your children.
• Train up children to respect and honor God.  This should be another priority. 
• Discipline your children even as society makes it more difficult to do so.  Do not reward them for bad behavior and don’t make excuses for them.  Sparing the rod of correction is proof that you do not love them.  Look it up, the word of God tells us so.  Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.  Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.
• Train children to know what God’s word says about family; a father (male), a mother (female), children (male and female) Yes, I know that there are all these categories and in between these days, but God’s word remains true.  Do not compromise even when we do not understand why some things occur.  Remember the word says, male and female made he them.
• Even if you are a single parent, you are a father (male) or you are a single mother (female) in the headship of a household.
• Never let your children see you at odds with each other nor manipulate you such that you are battling the other rather than the problem at hand.  If you disagree, talk it out privately and hold fast to decisions you make.  This is especially essential with blended families when raising stepchildren or grandchildren.
• Don’t fall into the trap of “baby mama” or “baby daddy” drama.  Your allegiance is still first to your spouse if you have one, then children. Never leave your spouse out of the equation/discussion and never put baby mama or baby daddy first; remember God’s order.
•  If you are the single head of the household, decide what’s best for your children and you.  Do not be manipulated or become the manipulator.  It is very important that whether in a married or single households, that we honestly do it God’s way.
• If you are dealing with adult children, be firm in your stand on the word.  Do not allow them to bring things in opposition to God’s way into your spiritual and physical house.  You cannot control what is done in their house, but you can control yours.  This is imperative especially if you have adult children still living at home.  Do not allow the love you have for your grandchildren to become a weapon used against you.  Do not allow compassion to become “Your demon.”
• Listen to each other’s point of view especially in matters of child rearing, finance and extended family.  Make sure each is aware of what the other is doing. Now, I don’t mean every little thing, because there should be a level of trust that you have in each other to do the right things.
• Consider your spouse before yourself; what effect will your decision have on them.  This cannot be a one-way thing with one person in the marriage equation always doing the “considering”.  It must be the mindset of both; try it and watch God work things out.  BUT you must be honest in your mindset and your actions.
• Build up and encourage each other; Do not take the other for granted.
• Make time for each other and make time for yourself no matter what else is going on.  Always keep God’s order in the forefront, God first, spouse, then children.  If you are a single household, don’t forget to make time for yourself.  Burnout and frustration are real.
• Be open to each other’s career goals and show interest in their achievements.  Discuss them and value your spouse’s input; you don’t have to agree but you should value and welcome it.
• Don’t let jealousy rear its ugly head.  It will if you allow it to do so.  Remember how the word of God frames jealousy; “Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm; for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave; the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.”  Jealousy is a cruel taskmaster and will ignite if you allow it.

I don’t think I have told any of you anything new, but sometimes we just need a little reminder.  Prayerfully you will accept my reminder as I humbly submit it to you.  I love all of you with the love of the Lord Jesus and I am praying for each person this reaches.  Feel free to share with anyone you think this will help.  Remember, God’s desire is that none is lost but the decision remains with each individual person.  We are not robots; God did not make us so; he gave us free will – freedom to choose him and have eternal life or choose the evil one which leads to eternal damnation.  The choice is ours, please choose life.  Remember God is and he is yet faithful…

 

Love You All Infinity…

Beverley Prince

 

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